my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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