needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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