bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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