I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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