I showed him my bush... on skype.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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