she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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