Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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