I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
