that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
