I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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