Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
