seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
