I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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