So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize