Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
