just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
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You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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