Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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