Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
