i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
