that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
