I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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