what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
