and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize