well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
