is your mom at the bar?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
