the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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