i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
