Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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