You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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