OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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