there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
