Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Couch. On fire.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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