You're completely useless in the revolution.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Panties = found
Randomize
