I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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