im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
