I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
