I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
