i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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