she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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