ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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