Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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