Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
