when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
