So drunk its hurt
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
