oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
