Small penises have feelings too.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
