I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
