my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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