Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
