You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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