mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
