Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
