that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
