is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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