That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
