You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
