i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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