she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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